Relationship Counselling

W

hether your relationship is rife with conflict and unhappiness, or you simply feel stuck in a rut and have stopped having any fun together, problems in your  primary relationship can begin to feel all-consuming and cast a cloud over day-to-day life.

Relationships evolve and life happens. What worked in the beginning may not work now. Other distractions and life events mean the relationship can fall to the bottom of the ‘to do’ list. But neglecting to invest in each other, update and adapt will inevitably lead to problems. Have you both swept things under the carpet that actually need to be aired out and worked through? Are you avoiding the elephant in the room?

There will always be times of conflict between two separate people each with their own needs and wants, along with all the other responsibilities of life. How you deal with this is important. Walking on eggshells and avoiding conflict can be as damaging as constant volatility. Knowing how to communicate and argue well, create intimacy through honesty and understand the various phases of relationships is vital.

Be curious rather than furious.

Louise Tyler | MBACP Accred.

Counsellor / Relationship Counsellor

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I offer 3 types of relationship counselling:

Couples M.O.T


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-Have you been in the relationship a long time and have stopped really listening to each other or making any effort?

-Do you keep bickering about the same issues and feel like you’re going round in circles?

-Are you spending less and less time together?

-Do you feel lonely?

-Has there been a major life change such as a relocation, having a baby or a bereavement and you’re struggling to adjust?

-Are you rarely or never affectionate, with little or no sex in the relationship?

 

If the answer is yes to any or all of these questions then counselling can help you to:

Learn how to really listen to each other and communicate well, recognise each other’s triggers and how past experiences affect the present, understand how to resolve conflict constructively, renew and revitalise the relationship, create or rebuild intimacy at every level.

Couples S.O.S


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-Do you feel apprehensive about going home if your partner is there, and are spending more and more time individually rather than doing things together?

-Are one or both of you engaging with someone outside of the relationship on an emotionally intimate level? Is this a secret?

-Has there been sexual infidelity outside the relationship?

-Have you stopped trusting, respecting or liking each other?

-Are either of you turning to self-sabotaging behaviours (such as excessive drinking, spending or pornography) as a means of escape?

-Do you both want it to work but don’t know where to start?

 

If the answer is yes to any or all of these questions then counselling can help you to:

Actively and calmly listen to each other without escalating into anger, explore whether there is a way forward, look at what led to the emotional or sexual infidelity, take joint responsibility, understand how to rebuild trust, respect and affection.

Separating With Dignity 


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If the relationship ultimately can’t be saved, then counselling can help you to negotiate a new future with calmness, clarity and respect. This is particularly important when children are involved. There will inevitably be anxiety, sadness, anger along with emotional, practical and financial upheaval for the whole family unit. Sessions with a counselling mediator can help you to:

-Make sure your children don’t become caught up in the crossfire by identifying all the issues that will affect them and finding ways to resolve these that are in THEIR best interest.

-Minimise hurt and hostility by helping you both to make sense of what has happened, take responsibility, understand each other’s’ practical needs and try to come to a workable solution.

-Help negotiate clearly defined, tolerable channels of communication when this has all but broken down.

-Find some sense of closure and the defining of a new way of being in each other’s lives in relation to the children, new partners and extended family.

Looking For Individual Counselling?

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